Disparity (Or: Yeah, we’re poor, too.)

by Minnow + Co.

FYI – This might get quasi-political, and possibly a little rant-y.

So, granted, I don’t get to watch a whole lot of TV anymore, which means I don’t catch a ton of news.  And my online reading to brush up on what’s going on in the world is limited to very brief, stolen moments of hastily scanning headlines from a few different new sources.  (I aim for a smattering of news from across the political spectrum.) So basically, I’m admittedly not nearly as aware of current events as I once was, but still – you can’t help but hear SOMETHING about the state of our economy, and the Occupy(——-) movement.  And the only way you could miss the shenanigans of the presidential deathmatch race is if you live under a rock.  (Even that might not be enough… I’m pretty sure they’d excavate a cave to get one more vote.)

I will freely admit that I long ago threw up my hands in utter disgust at politics. I know, I know, it’s incredibly jaded, I’m lucky to live in a country where I can take part in the political dialogue, and I shouldn’t allow the bad behavior of some (many) politicians to dissuade me from participating actively in our nation’s government.  But all I can say is that I really, really, really hate the ugliness, the underhandedness, the do-whatever-it-takes-to-win tactics, and how I can’t shake the feeling that unfortunately, the exact people who shouldn’t be in control of the most powerful nation in the world also happen to be the only ones narcissistic enough to vie for the job.   Given the lackluster performance of a president I really thought was going to change our country, and the current ridiculous antics of the GOP candidates (Really, Rick Perry?  You can’t remember your own campaign promises – epic fail debate #2?  Really, Herman Cain?  In light of your current sexual harassment scandal, you thought belittling/attacking a high ranking female politician was a good idea?), I’ve pretty much given up on feeling good about anything in the realm of politics.

So yeah, given the dismal state of our economy, and my aforementioned dispassion for the power of our political system, I’m not all that hopeful that things are going to get better anytime soon.  And yes, my sweet little family absolutely falls into the 99% that is the cornerstone of the Occupy movement. (Honestly, y’all, if I were in the 1%, I would be waaay too busy enjoying my own private Caribbean island to blog…)  But while I agree that the income gap is growing larger by the moment, and yeah, things definitely need to change, I sort of feel like the Occupy movement is becoming one more political hate fight, instead of finding a constructive way to have a strategic dialogue that will foster a sustainable change that will benefit all families in a meaningful way.  And I feel like that same way that Sarah Palin/Barack Obama are polarizing figures who ends up distracting people from any kind of bipartisanship, the Occupy movement is topic of conversation that instantaneously sets people on edge, ready to verbally battle it out, defending their own point of view while body slamming the other side.

But it’s undeniable that there is massive disparity in our country.  And since this is my opportunity to tell my side of things and how said disparity affects my family, here it is:

Both my husband and I are college graduates.  We both grew up in white collar families who gave us the amazing gift of allowing us to graduate from college debt free.  We also grew up with parents who encouraged us to do something that makes us happy.  After starting out on a track that would have landed me in a career that would have been incredibly lucrative, but would have made me almost certainly unhappy, I transferred schools and changed my major to Anthropology, which I love, love, loved.  After graduating, I found myself working in the nonprofit sector, and it kind of stuck.  Before abandoning employment in favor of crawling around on the floor six inches in front of my daughter, picking up every speck of dirt, lint, fuzz, hair, debris that she might put in her mouth, I had worked for several amazing, and somewhat prestigious, nonprofit organizations in varying positions of management.  S graduated with a degree in business management, but after a few years, went back to a lifelong passion, working on cars, because it makes him happy.  He’s now been a mechanic for nearly 15 years, and in addition to having the almost mythical ability to fix ANYTHING, spent 8+ years building BMW race cars, and traveling the world with a top BMW race team.  This is a man I am so insanely in love with, a man who makes me brim with pride at who he is, what he can do, and how he conducts himself.  This is a man who had the intelligence to choose a career that was interesting, intriguing and made him happy each day over one that would make him quick money. He’s a man who operates with the highest level of honesty and integrity, would give a stranger the shirt off his back, goes out of his way to help others, loves his family, works incredibly hard to support us, and deserves the highest level of respect.  He deserves more respect than any of the once celebrated white collars on Wall Street who made such a shameful mess of our economy, no matter how messy his hands get each day, that’s for sure.

And here’s the thing – I can, without a doubt, confidently say that both of us have worked as hard (if not harder) that many people who (in a month) make double our household income.  In the last decade, we have both busted our bottoms, given 150% of ourselves, worked insane hours, gone above and beyond to prove ourselves, sacrificed, pushed ourselves to exhaustion, and beyond.  And we’ve done it all for careers that made us (for the most part) happy, even if they didn’t result in stacks and stacks of money.  While that particular uneven equation was irritating and annoying before our little family became a trio, now that we have E, it’s almost intolerable.  How is it that we can both work so hard, and still be in a moderately precarious financial position?  We purposefully bought a very modest home that would allow us to live on one income even back when we had two incomes; we have one car that almost predates my ability to legally drink and one that predates entry to junior high; we are very careful about what we purchase; we are committed to saving for our (and E’s) future; we don’t go on vacations; our credit card usage could be categorized as “miserly”; we pay off our existing debt religiously; we don’t buy things we can’t afford and when we do buy things we need, we wait until we find bargains/coupons/deals.  And while we have savings for emergencies, and savings for the future, we’re still only one or two minor crises away from financial catastrophe.  (I know, I know; aren’t we all?)  We are a responsible, hard working, modest family.  And it’s not enough.

There are plenty of families out there who work just as hard as we do, and are worse off.  And that’s what bothers me so much about the whole situation.  Isn’t is supposed to be that hard work, ingenuity, honesty, and intelligence are rewarded?  If S and I started off with every advantage, worked our butts off and still have to stress out about finances, what step did we miss out on that would have enabled us to live in financial comfort?  From where I stand, it appears that the only thing separating us from those who live in big houses with nice cars is that some professions are more highly valued than others, no matter who works harder.  And I think that’s why so many people are so fed up with how things are.  What’s the point of working yourself to the bone if you have no foreseeable chance of a better life from all of your efforts?  But I just wish that instead of another endless standoff that doesn’t actually produce any action, we could find the temperance to enter, entertain, and complete a meaningful conversation with both sides.

I’m not sure I have a conclusion for this particular ramble.  I just felt like the most meaningful addition I could make to this issue is to be honest and admit that money is tight, life isn’t always fair, and that I desperately want a better future for E.  One where she pick whichever career she wants, and know that if she works hard, she can live a life without the oppressive fear of financial ruin.

And I just couldn’t find a way to say that in less than 1500 words.  Sorry….